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January 30, 2005
New Memes: A Fearless Prediction from Madame LaEtherPundit!
Welcome, my children! Welcome to the lair of Madame LaEtherPundit! Come close, my children! Gather round! Do not be afraid!
Gather round my crystal ball, and prepare to feel the hair on your necks stand on end as I look into the very future, where mortal eyes dare not see! Please place your $5 donation in the lockbox slot.
NOW, my children, gaze in awe as I predict the headlines not of tomorrow... not of the day after tomorrow... but of sometime late this week!
I see... I see... everywhere, I see long faces. Sad faces! Disappointed faces! No, my children, not of Iraqis — of Democrats! I can almost taste their salty tears as they see their 'quagmire' evaporating before their eyes! As they see their 'insurgents represent the true people's government' shibboleth fading away, the 'Arabs are incapable of democracy' meme vanishing — VANISHING, my children! As the fog vanishes before the dawn!
But look closely. Bend in as I caress the crystal ball, the orb of seers. For if you concentrate, you can see the new meme. It is coming, my children! The new nay-sayers' meme, the very lifeblood of the Bush haters! For they cannot live without new memes, my children, any more than a vampire can live without FRESH BLOOD!
No, no, come back, my dears. Madame LaEtherPundit is sorry she frightened you with tales of Democrats and memes. Come close. Look into the glass. What do you see? I see... I see that "The Elections Were Plagued by Massive Voter Fraud"!
I see that "Many Iraqis Were Disenfranchised, Frightened Away From the Polls by Armed Police"!
I see that "Sunnis Refused to Participate in a Rigged Vote, Rendering the Election Result Illegitimate"!
I see — do I see? Can it be? "High Illiteracy Rates in Iraq Meant Iraqis Didn't Even Know Who They Were Voting For"! They could have been voting for Saddam Hussein; they could have been voting for Pat Buchanan! Who knows? The point is: The elections were a sham of a farce of a mockery, one of many brought to you by Resident Chimpy McOilthief!
Oh, my children. Madame LaEtherPundit is exhausted with her labors. Sometimes the future is a very scary place.
I am going to recline on the divan and fan myself. Please offer your gratuities in the coffee can to the right of the door on your way out.
Posted by EtherPundit at January 30, 2005 11:11 PM Category: Current Affairs , Mockery