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January 30, 2005

New Memes: A Fearless Prediction from Madame LaEtherPundit!

Welcome, my children! Welcome to the lair of Madame LaEtherPundit! Come close, my children! Gather round! Do not be afraid!

Gather round my crystal ball, and prepare to feel the hair on your necks stand on end as I look into the very future, where mortal eyes dare not see! Please place your $5 donation in the lockbox slot.

NOW, my children, gaze in awe as I predict the headlines not of tomorrow... not of the day after tomorrow... but of sometime late this week!

I see... I see... everywhere, I see long faces. Sad faces! Disappointed faces! No, my children, not of Iraqis — of Democrats! I can almost taste their salty tears as they see their 'quagmire' evaporating before their eyes! As they see their 'insurgents represent the true people's government' shibboleth fading away, the 'Arabs are incapable of democracy' meme vanishing — VANISHING, my children! As the fog vanishes before the dawn!

But look closely. Bend in as I caress the crystal ball, the orb of seers. For if you concentrate, you can see the new meme. It is coming, my children! The new nay-sayers' meme, the very lifeblood of the Bush haters! For they cannot live without new memes, my children, any more than a vampire can live without FRESH BLOOD!

No, no, come back, my dears. Madame LaEtherPundit is sorry she frightened you with tales of Democrats and memes. Come close. Look into the glass. What do you see? I see... I see that "The Elections Were Plagued by Massive Voter Fraud"!

I see that "Many Iraqis Were Disenfranchised, Frightened Away From the Polls by Armed Police"!

I see that "Sunnis Refused to Participate in a Rigged Vote, Rendering the Election Result Illegitimate"!

I see — do I see? Can it be? "High Illiteracy Rates in Iraq Meant Iraqis Didn't Even Know Who They Were Voting For"! They could have been voting for Saddam Hussein; they could have been voting for Pat Buchanan! Who knows? The point is: The elections were a sham of a farce of a mockery, one of many brought to you by Resident Chimpy McOilthief!

Oh, my children. Madame LaEtherPundit is exhausted with her labors. Sometimes the future is a very scary place.

I am going to recline on the divan and fan myself. Please offer your gratuities in the coffee can to the right of the door on your way out.

Posted by EtherPundit at 11:11 PM | Comments (1)   Category: Current Affairs , Mockery

Yiddish Proverb Sunday! Read, so you should learn!

Why Yiddish proverbs? Because it's my blog, and I like 'em. Also see here.

The response from certain quarters to the Iraq elections is perfectly summed up by this gem of wisdom:

A chissoren, di kalleh iz tsu shain.

A fault-finder complains even that the bride is too pretty.

Try reading this proverb in a low, droning, singsong voice.

A fault-finder complains even that the bride randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in a manner reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks and generally ravaged the countryside.

Posted by EtherPundit at 07:37 PM | Comments (3)   Category: Yiddish Proverbs

Iraq vote "not legitimate"; Berlin Wall "torn down by a few lawless vandals."

There are many on the left who have never had a positive word to say about anything that's happened in Iraq. I take their silence on this day, as noted by Michelle Malkin, as a very positive sign.

My joy is only tempered slightly by my horror at how close this guy came to sitting in the Oval Office:

"No one in the United States should try to overhype this election." -- John Kerry, on "Meet the Press."

And this classic snatching-defeat-from-the-jaws-of-victory quote:

"It's hard to say that something is legitimate when a whole portion of the country can't vote and doesn't vote."

If the current crop of embittered nihilists had been running the news media when the Berlin Wall fell, what a chorus we would have been treated to:

Michael Dukakis: "Let's not overstate the importance of what was, after all, only a purely symbolic stack of bricks and mortar."

Christiane Amanpour, CNN: "Critics charge the Wall's collapse was caused by a Soviet Union whose finances were stretched so thin by Reagan's arms race that they could no longer afford even to maintain the structural integrity and safety of a simple wall."

BBC: "Thousands streamed through the hole, greeting their West German relatives with joy and celebrating late into the night. But some question whether a wall's destruction by a few thousand determined vandals can ever be representative of the will of the East German people as a whole -- an East German people who, as seen in this clip of an East German child flying a kite, were by all accounts very happy under Soviet rule."

Robert Fisk: "While the stammering scarecrow who stole the election from Dukakis perches upon his purloined throne, the people of East Berlin are watching their dreams of unity shattered along with the wall. I stopped a bleeding woman in the street as she ran, sobbing, from the border and back to the East. "The people," she wept, "The people of East Berlin were united in a collective desire for the Worker's Revolution! Then these, these West Berliners — they tore down our beautiful wall, and with it tore down the hopes for a fair and equal society where the capitalist pig cannot peddle his empty consumerist ethos to the downtrodden!" The horror-stricken look in her face still haunts me. In a just world, it would haunt Ronald Ray-Gun to his unmourned grave."

Update: Bill at INDC has a comprehensive, and vitriolic, roundup of nattering nabobs of negativism. PoliBlog continues the roundup of reactions good and bad.

Posted by EtherPundit at 02:27 PM | Comments (1)   Category: Current Affairs , Mockery , Moonbats

Al Franken IS... Comedy Gold™

I confess, I've never found Al Franken funny. Long before I was old enough to know or care about politics, back in the 70s, I used to see him on the "Franken & Davis" segment of Saturday Night Live. His smirking face on the screen was always my cue to take a bathroom break or go get a snack. I didn't find him funny in the 80s or the 90s, either, but I gave him one more try a couple days after the election. I tuned in to his Air America show for the first time, and I just couldn't stick with it. It didn't offend, or even irritate -- it just bored me.

But Al just made a fan. He made me laugh so hard on Friday I nearly plotzed.

On Friday, O'Reilly ran a segment about a CBC show that attacked FOX News (which was recently cleared for broadcast in Canada). There's plenty to criticize about FNC, God knows, so there's no reason why criticism of FOX should be intrinsically hilarious. Yet every time I see a critique of this channel, it's a tormented, hyperventilating cri de coeur from some lefty. And lefty cris de coeur are... well, they're Comedy Gold.

According to O'Reilly, the CBC show contrasted footage of him shouting with footage of Al Franken displaying hurt feelings. In the all-too-brief clip we saw, Al snuffled in a cracked, phlegmy voice about the wickedness of FOX. "I'm going to Kuwait and Afghanistan and Iraq next week for my fifth USO tour. (He wipes away a tear.) I love my country... um... (sob)... and... This breaks my heart, that this is the prevailing... that this prevails ... this kind of thinking."

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard. I drowned out most of Al's appearance with guffaws, so I had to tape the rerun to be sure I saw what I thought I saw — was he really crying, crying tears? Because FOX is mean? Yes, by God! YES HE WAS! The clip is below. It's short in length, but long on hilarity. Perhaps it'll be some kind of recompense for those who suffered through Franken's frighteningly narcissistic radio interview with Powerline's John Hinderaker. Click on the play button below to see the segment (40 sec).

(As you see on the clip, Franken is rightfully depressed about the degradation of public discourse in this country (which, FYI, he loves). He himself has always tried hard to elevate the level of discourse. Sure, some philistines would say that calling one of his books "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot" did not serve to increase the civility and intellectualism of our public exchange of ideas. That title wasn't mean, though — it was just true. But right-wingers can't handle the truth, to Franken's eternal, tearful regret.

Similarly, in "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them," when he called Sean Hannity an "Irish ape-man," and speculated on whether O'Reilly suffered from "Irish flu," — tee hee, those Micks! — those were not ad hominem attacks or ethnic slurs! That was satire, not racism. But right-wingers don't understand satire, to Franken's eternal, tearful regret.)

Why does the CBC bogart these wonderful things? We send Canada all kinds of great TV, yet they haven't sent us any brilliant comedies since SCTV. And now we find they're keeping their finest Comedy Gold to themselves.

Selfish, selfish Canucks.

And to think, those poor souls who use this will never know the sheer heart-lifting joy they've missed.

Update: A more thorough description of the program in question, which was discourse-elevatingly titled "Sticks and Stones," can be found here.

Posted by EtherPundit at 12:44 PM | Comments (2)   Category: Greatest Hits

January 28, 2005

Pay no attention to the death camp behind the parka.

I note that today, as the Vice President attended ceremonies marking the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, the left wing of the blogosphere lit itself afire with fury.

• Fury over the memory of the families mercilessly incinerated?

• Fury that the German people and government today dare to sanctimoniously lecture the US on the need for tolerance and peace?

• Fury at the knowledge that some still deny the Holocaust?

• Fury that the world allowed it to go on in the first place?

• Fury over the fact that the Nazi ideology still survives intact in Islamofascism, and Americans are still losing their lives fighting it today?

Obviously not. Who could be offended by such trivialities? The Left has unleashed its sputtering rage on the military-issue parka Dick Cheney wore in the subzero weather.

Over here -- no, don't look that way -- not at the camp -- don't look at the ovens -- over here! There's an outrage taking place! A parka! A PARKA, for God's sake! Don't distract yourself with the bitter reminder of a history that is still playing itself out today in the Middle East! Don't ask what Auschwitz means to its survivors, to their descendents in the diaspora, to the birth and history of Israel, to the war on terror today, to humanity! Realize the real story is in the parka! The PARKA!

You are looking at the eeeevilll parka. You are loooooking at the paaaarrrrrrkka. You are getting sleeeeepy... you are forgetting what antisemitism really means... you are forgetting what fascism really is.... concentrate on Cheney... the paaaarrrrkka... the paaaarrrrrrrkkka.... the paaaaarrrrrrkkkkaaaaa.....

Update: I'm glad to see that Say Anything [in the persona of Ace of Spades] is on the case as well, as is Jeff from Protein Wisdom. Jeff is in particularly fine form with lines like "Gore could have shown up at Auschwitz wearing a suit made from Jackie Mason and trimmed with the ass hair of Woody Allen..." and the Left would have called it a "daring deconstruction..." Oh, just Read the Whole Thing.*

* "Read the Whole Thing" is a trademark of the Instapundit International Sinister Rightwing Consortium.

 

Posted by EtherPundit at 08:46 PM | Comments (2)   Category: Current Affairs

Sudden realization: We are blessed. SO blessed.

Every so often, something just pulls you right up short, right out of any funk you might have been in danger of sinking into. Once in a while, the light breaks through the clouds of January gloom and something illuminates your mood as if the very face of God were beaming down its favor upon you.

That something is seldom an internet pop-up ad.

That's why I wanted to share this sure-fire day-brightener.*

Kerrygoodleader 728X90 U

I never thought the use of the past conditional tense could bring me such joy.

Think what we nearly had, or should I say what we nearly lost. Think how January 20th could have felt. Keep your "FREE $100," spamsters. The feeling I get from this ad is priceless.

Is it odd for an athiest to thank God? Maybe I'll just stick to thanking all of those much-maligned Jesuslanders. Thanks, "Jesusland!" No matter what the pundits tell you, someone in New York City loves ya.


* The ad's not live. Don't bother clicking on it. Just savor the sight.

Posted by EtherPundit at 06:18 PM | Comments (1)   Category: Current Affairs , Personal stories

The MSM's transparent hope for Iraq election failure

Captain's Quarters writes, as have many others, of the mainstream media's undisguised hope that the Iraqi elections will fail.

I've been extremely disturbed by the attitude of the MSM, and most of the Left, towards the idea of an Iraqi democracy. I can't help asking myself why self-proclaimed lovers of freedom and haters of fascism want to dismiss the possibility of an Arab democracy out of hand. Why does it threaten them so?

To answer that question properly would require an 8-volume collaborative historical dissertation with appendices, indices, and a live web site annex. But I'm ambitious, so I'm going to advance one of the possible reasons right here:

When you have sufficiently demonized your political foe, you can no longer accept any of his actions as right or good.

I'm old enough to remember this happening with Reagan and his attempts to bring down the Soviet empire. As unseemly -- no, as horrifying -- as it was to see Americans defend the Soviet Union, portraying it as a peace-loving victim of Reagan's warmongering, it made some kind of sense. At the time, I struggled to understand, and finally decided that for some Western socialists, the Soviet Union was a kind of presumptive utopia that they simply refused to believe anything bad about, lest it tarnish their own socialist ideals. Okay. USSR = socialism = collectivism. Collectivism = good. So anyone who threatens the USSR = bad. Fine. Got it.

But Saddam was a fascist, not a Communist. None of the Arab regimes are Communist. Clearly, my earlier beliefs about the motives behind the loathing of Reagan's drive to "tear down this wall" were mistaken.

The whole thing makes much more sense when seen as a cult of personality. When Kennedy announced in his inaugural address that the US would "pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty," that was a stirring sentiment, an aspiration to man's highest ideals. When Bush, last week, said, "It is the policy of the United States to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in the world," that was a warmongering shot across the bow of the already-oppressed Muslim world. When Kennedy fought Communism, that was our brave, boyish leader lighting the way for Liberty. When Reagan fought Communism, that was a broken-down B actor dodderingly leading us all to nuclear annihilation.

Why were such different criteria applied to these presidents? Because one was "our guy" and one was "their guy" -- the hated them, the other. And both were the subjects, in their way, of cults of personality -- only, for those who hated him, Reagan was the subject of an inverse cult of personality.

And so is Bush. Instead of blindly following Bush, the members of this cult blindly reject everything he does, everything he stands for. No need to examine each individual case; if Bush is behind it, it's bad. A simple paradigm. Bush is the anti-guru, the anti-messiah. He can do no right. If he appears to be doing right, then, like Satan, he is simply making a transparent attempt to deceive the righteous.

When you have sufficiently demonized your political foe, you can no longer accept any of his actions as right or good.

Therefore, elections in Iraq must be a disaster, by definition, because they are seen as Bush's pet project. If there's no apparent way in which they are a disaster, the MSM will find a way. The other option is unacceptable: If Bush has advanced a good cause, he cannot be a true demon. And the worldview of the Bush-haters, the anti-Bush cult of personality, will collapse.

Update: Wellsir, I'm afraid that Frank J at IMAO has found a way to say kinda the same thing I said above, and make it funny. I observe, and learn. Of course, my commentary had nuance.

Update: Right Wing News, quoting Greyhawk from Mudville Gazette, covers the topic very perceptively.

Posted by EtherPundit at 11:14 AM | Comments (1)   Category: Current Affairs

Blogburst on Auschwitz

In case you missed it, there's been a blogburst on the topic of the 1942 Wannsee Conference and the liberation of Auschwitz 60 years ago. Participating blogs are listed here.

Posted by EtherPundit at 08:29 AM | Comments (1)   Category:

January 27, 2005

There once was a dictionary in limericks....

One that invites reader submissions, no less. The OEDLF (Omnificent Dictionary in Limerick Form) is addictive, if incomplete.

Not all the reader submissions really nail the meter of the limerick or the sense of the word they're defining. But when they do, it's so satisfying. Here's one of the several definitions of anagram:

With anagrams fun is in store.
They disclose what is hidden, and more.
"George Bush" is a name
Whose letters seem tame,
But they also can spell "He bugs Gore."

(by Chris Doyle)

Posted by EtherPundit at 07:02 AM | Comments (1)   Category: Anagrams , Games , Language

January 26, 2005

Ohm, Ohm in the Bronx.

Where the Yanks and the criminals play...

Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't bash the Bronx. It's a misunderstood borough.

Part of the problem is it's name, I think. It's impossible to say melodiously. And it's aggressively strange. Why always "The" Bronx?* Why the X? Such a forbidding letter.

For out-of-towners, its reputation was tarnished by flims like "Fort Apache, The Bronx." Starting in the 70s, "South Bronx" became a handy synonym and summary of urban decay. Again, I blame the name. If the Bronx had been called Fern Valley, no amount of bad PR would have made its name synonymous with crime, hopelessness, and burned-out buildings.

The Bronx has a bad reputation among New Yorkers, too, but for a different reason: It's impossible to drive through. Try to drive upstate, and you'll find yourself lost in the South Bronx, on Bruckner Boulevard. I think every New Yorker has a lost-on-Bruckner-Boulevard story, and believe me, of all the streets in New York, this is one of the ones you'd least like to get stuck on.

I've taken a few road trips to the Bronx, just to wander around. Frankly, one of the reasons the borough has an image problem is that some of the nicer parts aren't very accessible by public transportation. A few years ago the EtherHubby and I did some exploring up there and took some photos. First we checked out the Irish neighborhoods, so full of recent immigrants that in some places an American accent was an anomaly. After stocking up on scones and soda bread, we wandered around for a while. Looking at a map, I spotted two unusually named streets.

Ohm Ampere MapOf course, we had to take a long detour just to see this mythical place, the intersection of Ohm and Ampere. What would it look like? Would it glow? Would it hum? Would our hair stand on end? Would the houses look like vacuum tubes, occupied by bustling clipboard-toting scientists in thick glasses and white side-button lab coats? Would the streetlights have van de Graaf generators in place of bulbs?

As it turned out, no. The intersection was in a quiet suburban section of town near Pelham Bay Park and only a few blocks from the Hudson. Some of the houses in the neighborhood had chickens in the yards. Nary a lab-coated scientist to be seen.


Ohm Ampere Cropped But there was a great photo op. And this is one of my favorite photos. Here's a cropped version. Ohm Ampere And here's the full photo. Click to enlarge it.

*Because much of the land was once owned by Dutch settlers named Bronck. The Broncks', get it? "Let's go visit the Broncks."

 

Posted by EtherPundit at 07:53 AM | Comments (8)   Category: Brooklyn & NYC , Photoblogging

January 25, 2005

You link me! You really, really link me!

Normally, you understand, I display a ladylike, virtuous modesty. My ears redden at the very mention of my name. Excessive praise gives me the vapors.

Still, I can't let this last week go without comment. And that comment is: WOW.

My first week of serious blogging, and I get linked by my favorite blogs in the world, blogs I’ve admired for years:

Instapundit linked to this post.

Little Green Footballs linked to this post.

Powerline linked to this post and this post and to my site home page.

And Hugh Hewitt found my comment on an interview he'd done on FOX and linked to it.

Not to mention getting blogrolled by SlantPoint and linked by assorted kind folks all over the blogosphere.

According to my hit counter, a high percentage of visitors spent a good deal of time here, poking around, which is a good thing. Now the fun part begins: Generating new content to keep this site worth coming back to. I’d tell you some of the things I have planned... but no. You’ll have to come back to find out.

Heh.*

* "Heh" is a trademark of the Instapundit International Sinister Rightwing Consortium.

 

Posted by EtherPundit at 07:39 AM | Comments (4)   Category: Personal stories

January 23, 2005

Yiddish Proverb Sunday! Read, so you should learn!

Why Yiddish proverbs? Because it's my blog, and I like 'em. Also see here.

This week's proverb has a nice rhyme in the Yiddish that unfortunately doesn't carry over to English, despite the fact that it has enough cognates to be almost understandable to an English reader.

Nice cynical philosophy, too.

Der mentsh tracht, un Got lacht.

Man thinks and God laughs.

Posted by EtherPundit at 11:55 PM | Comments (1)   Category: Yiddish Proverbs

Rathergate story, told in anagrams of "Powerlineblog."

Well, I’ve got the Powerlineblog Rathergate anagram* narrative done. Hardest anagramming I’ve ever done. Would it have killed them to put an “a” or an “s” in the name of their site?

The Instapundit anagram narrative and the Little Green Footballs anagram narrative held together without much annotation, but this one needed chapter summaries to make sense. Like "Little Green Footballs," "Powerlineblog" contained the word “goner,” so I was able to use that term to describe Dan Rather again.

(Because this narrative isn't quite as self-explanatory as the others, I've written explanations after some of the lines in white type. Highlight to make them visible if you need them.)

"W" NG Lie = Blooper!

A story in anagrams
of
"Powerlineblog."


Chapter 1:
Bill Burkett nurses a grudge and seeks to destroy Bush
by spreading lies through the mass media.


Elbowing prole
(That'd be Burkett.)
on prowl: Beg, lie,

libel GOP. “W = Nero!”

Begin Orwell op.
(Using supposedly nonpartisan “news” media as a partisan bludgeon = Orwellian.)

Chapter 2:
Bill Burkett forges the memos;
Dan Rather broadcasts them on his program.


Bile on pol grew.
(Burkett could no longer contain his resentment of his least favorite pol.)
Goober will pen

libel. Pow! Goner:
(Goner = Dan Rather.)
“We libel on prog.
(Prog. = abbreviation for “Program.”)
I leer — GOP blown!”

Opine well, Borg.
(Borg=“person who has been absorbed into the collective mind”--the anti-Bush media hive mind.)

Chapter 3:
Powerline and the blogosphere step in.


Now, re: GOP libel:

We blog on peril.

W, lie? Long probe...
(Did W lie about his Texas Air NG service? Blogs began to probe diligently…)

Chapter 4:
It becomes clear that Burkett is a liar.
The story falls apart.


Bingo! “W peer”? LOL!
(Per Dan, Burkett was in the "TX Air Guard," like Bush. Wrong; he was in the Army National Guard.)
Loner, below pig!
(A bit harsh, but some would feel it's a reasonable depiction of Burkett)
Pro-Lib glee now

blip. Longer woe

ere long. Pow, Lib!
(The momentary joy of having tarnished Bush was just a blip. A long woe — 4 years long — awaited the Libs.)

Chapter 5:
Dan Rather stonewalls to save his job.
Public opinion shifts in favor of Bush.


GOP libeler now:

“GOP boner? Well, I...

... I ... We probe NG!” (LOL.)
(Dan claimed he would continue to probe the National Guard [NG] story.)
No, W/GOP libeler.
(Nope, Dan. Can’t get away with it.)
Web poll: “I” gone “R.”
(The NG story swayed some independents toward Bush [“R”].)

Chapter 6:
Bad news for Burkett: Bush is re-elected.


Bill, GOP e’er won!

 

*Anagram: A word or phrase created using all the letters, and only the letters, of another word or phrase. Every line in black uses all the letters, and only the letters, in "Powerlineblog."

Update: Welcome, Powerline readers! Look around, check out some of the other posts listed above on the right, make yourselves at home. Read my comment on Powerline's take on the Harvard/Summers/women and math controversy. Or take a look at some recent spooky photos of NYC's bridges in a freak fog — my fogblog.

Update: I just realized I've left out the blogs on the left. These fine citizen journalists deserve anagrams that reveal their dynamic, proactive role in exposing this egregious abuse of the public trust. Here they are:

Atrios:     Or... I sat.

Kos:      's OK.

Posted by EtherPundit at 06:32 PM | Comments (5)   Category: Anagrams , Greatest Hits , Language , Media , Rathergate Anagrams

January 22, 2005

Feminism, or a return to Victorian stereotypes?

Over at Powerline, Deacon posts about the flap over Harvard's president saying there may be genetic reasons for the disparity in the number of male vs female scientists and mathematicians.

Deacon writes:

Chavez also notes that feminist Nancy Hopkins, a biologist at MIT, is said to have responded to Summers by citing studies indicating that "women score higher on math tests if there are fewer men in the room while they are taking the test." I know I'm missing something, but doesn't it seem odd that feminists would be interested in embracing "studies" that portray women as so stereotypically fragile?

That's a rhetorical question, of course, because I'm sure Deacon is well aware of the evolution of "feminism" and the "civil rights movement." Once they stood for taking back basic human rights; once they stood for self-sufficiency and an end to subservience. Now their Orwellian watchwords are: "Weakness is Power." "Helplessness is Invulnerability." "Victimhood is Dominance."

The "studies" Ms. Hopkins cites reek to me of feminist apocrypha, like the debunked urban legend that more women are victimized by domestic violence on Super Bowl Sunday than on any other day of the year.

And this quote is a classic of the "Oh, Colonel, I fear I shall swoon" genre of wounded-womynhood writing:

For her part, Hopkins reported that, upon hearing Summers' remarks, "I felt I was going to be sick. . . .My heart was pounding and my breath was shallow."

Dear Lord in heaven, this woman expresses herself in prose torn from the pages of a drugstore romance novel. "At last, my dear lady," the pirate king spat, "I'm going to show you a woman's place on my ship!" As he approached like a prowling leopard, his torn shirt revealing his rippling, dusky chest, I felt I was going to be sick... My heart was pounding and my breath was shallow as he roughly tore my bodice, enfolding me in the strong arms I had struggled so not to desire..."

Perhaps Ms. Hopkins is reading from the official Naomi Wolf Style Manual of Breathlessly Reporting Sexual Harassment and Other Beastly Male Behavior. Compare Ms. Wolf's statement about her "sexual encroachment" by Harold Bloom at Yale:

"He leaned toward me and put his face inches from mine. 'You have the aura of election upon you,' he breathed.

"The next thing I knew, his heavy, boneless hand was hot on my thigh. I lurched away. 'This is not what I meant,' I stammered. The whole thing had suddenly taken on the quality of a bad horror film. The floor spun. By now my back was against the sink, which was as far away as I could get. He came at me. I turned away from him toward the sink and found myself vomiting, in shock."

The quality of a bad horror film, indeed. I share her outrage, though. It's quite negligent of Yale not to have maintenance repair those spinning floors. Someone could get hurt.


Update: Bill at INDC journal examines some of the evidence for innate differences between the brains of men and women. Personally, I find it depressing that at this late date, we are still being asked to: 1. deny that men's brains and women's brains are different, and 2. act as if "different" automatically means "inferior in the case of women, superior in the case of men." As Bill points out, women in general tend to do better on language sections of standardized tests. Where's the outrage over that? Where are the statements that "boys do better on language tests when there are no girls in the room?"

 

Posted by EtherPundit at 05:00 PM | Comments (11)   Category: Feminism & Gender , Greatest Hits , Moonbats

Snow rhyme or reason.

Okay, it's snowing in Brooklyn. It's snowing quite heavily, and it's very cold. Right.

But such things are far from unknown in New York. We have a big snowstorm at least once or twice a year. Some winters we've had several.

So what explains the behavior of people who flock to the corner supermarket and stock up on food as if it were their last chance to eat before the apocalypse? The Donner Party, in their wildest fever dreams of abundance, would have shown more self-restraint.

I went to our small local grocery to buy a quart of milk, and the tiny place was crammed to paralysis with neighborhood families, mostly quite plump. They were wild-eyed, grabbing things I had a feeling they never would have dreamt of buying if it weren't snowing -- buckets of cottage cheese, enough frozen shrimp to cater a wedding reception, canned tomato paste by the half-dozen -- and their pushing carts choked the aisles.

I quickly realized that the supermarket was un-navigable. Horrifyingly, I was left with only one alternative:* Go to one of the other half-dozen places to buy food staples within a 3-block range of my house. For GOD'S SAKE, people! Every other storefront in Park Slope is a place to buy food! Granny will not starve, you have my word!


*Or I suppose I could just take my coffee black for a day, if necessary, but apparently that's the kind of sacrifice that could kill us all, leaving Park Slope strewn with the corpses of the starved, her streets piled high with withered bodies, dessicated skin tented over dry bones, half buried in drifting snow, with no one left to weep for them but the moaning wind.


 

Posted by EtherPundit at 03:35 PM | Comments (1)   Category: Brooklyn & NYC , Personal stories

January 21, 2005

Friday Night Indiscretion: Michael Moore Porn Film Titles

It's Friday night. We've all had a hard week. Some of you are drunk.

What better time to trot out... the Friday Night Indiscretion?

Tonight's ill-considered foray into absurdity:

What if Michael Moore made pornos? What would their titles be?

I've come up with a few:

Rogering Me

Fahrenheit 9.11"

Boweling for Columbine

Canadian Makin' Bacon

Dude, Where's My C*nt?

I know someone out there can do better. Any ideas? Add them in the comments thread. If I get some good ones, I'll publish a new post next Friday collecting them.

Update:
I should have made it clear that these would be films Moore would direct, not star in. I apologize if the image of Moore actually performing in such a movie has caused anyone irreversible psychosexual setbacks.

Posted by EtherPundit at 08:36 PM | Comments (9)   Category: Michael Moore , Sex

January 20, 2005

Mocking Rolling Stone Magazine? I'm on it!

Powerline has asked for "Cover of the Rolling Stone" parodies to address the fact that Rolling Stone has refused to run an ad for a youth-friendly edition of the Bible. They asked for a verse; I've gone one better and done the whole song. You'll note that not all the lines scan perfectly; they didn't in the original song, either. It's elastic that way. (Note: The original song lyrics are here, along with an instrumental MIDI file in case you're overcome with a desire to sing aloud. The MIDI plays automatically, so be warned.)

'Tween the Covers of the Rolling Stone
(apologies to Shel Silverstein, Dr. Hook, and the entire Medicine Show, wherever they may be.)

Now Jesus was a freak
Loved the poor and the weak
He walked barefoot through the Holy Land
Jann Wenner's the guy a
Generation called "messiah"
So you know that Jann, he understands
If Jesus doesn't reach you,
Jann will gladly teach you
Of the evils of conformity
He's an enfant terr-I-ble,
So he'll never let a Bible
'Tween the covers of the Rolling Stone.


(Rolling Stone)
Don't'cha look for the Bible 'tween the covers
(... Stone)
Gotta show that we're still subversive mothers!
(... Stone)
We don't want no Red State readers
'Tween the covers of the Rolling Stone!


In the '60s we were hip
Made your square parents flip
And our writers got their chicks for free
In the '80s our ad brains
Thought us up a campaign
About "perception" and "reality"
We don't want to be told
We're outdated and old
We'll reinvent ourselves again, you'll see
We've had many a revival
But we'll never let a Bible
'Tween the covers of the Rolling Stone.


(Rolling Stone)
Don't'cha look for the Bible 'tween the covers
(... Stone)
Gotta show that we're still subversive mothers!
(... Stone)
We don't want no Red State readers
'Tween the covers of the Rolling Stone!


Now we're all cosmic dancers
Just-a lookin' for the A.N.S.W.E.R.
And we're proud of our open minds
Maybe Marx is the way
Maybe Allah -- who can say?
As Buddha said, "Seek and ye shall find!"
The one place we'd never look
Is in the so-called "Good Book"
'Cause it's just bourgeois philosophy
It stops just short of libel
To suggest we'd put a Bible
'Tween the covers of the Rolling Stone.


(Rolling Stone)
Don't'cha look for the Bible 'tween the covers
(... Stone)
Gotta show that we're still subversive mothers!
(... Stone)
We don't want no Red State readers
'Tween the covers of the Rolling Stone!


Perhaps this will help make up to the Powerlineblog folks for the fact that their anagram just isn't going well. As some of you will recall, I was able to tell the entire Rathergate story using only anagrams of "Instapundit" and again using only anagrams of "Little Green Footballs". Powerline deserves an anagram narrative, but what can I say? They should have named their blog something with an "a" in it. Nevertheless, I have some anagrams, which I'll post soon. They just won't make a coherent narrative. Ah, well.

Update: Welcome, Powerline readers! Check out some of the recent entries to your right, make yourselves at home.

Posted by EtherPundit at 06:47 PM | Comments (3)   Category: Mockery

January 19, 2005

Separated at Birth? Part I of a sporadic series.

You knew they were both famous for whipping up wacky concoctions intended to prove some point or other. But did you know that Joshua Micah Marshall and Alton Brown were... Separated at Birth?

AltonandJosh.jpg

Posted by EtherPundit at 08:43 PM | Comments (2)   Category: Separated at Birth?

More fun with Rathergate

What the hell, right? Pretty soon we won't have Dan Rather to kick around any more, so we might as well enjoy it while we can.

To that end, Korla Pundit has a Rather shocking video of Dan in the halls of CBS, seeking counsel from the ghost of Edward R. Murrow:

Smuggled security video of Rather communing with Murrow's Ghost!

(Warning: Not for the easily frightened!)

Posted by EtherPundit at 12:19 AM | Comments (1)   Category: Media , Moonbats

January 18, 2005

Rathergate story, told in anagrams of "Little Green Footballs"

As promised, here's a crack at telling the Rathergate story using only anagrams* of "Little Green Footballs." Instapundit's Rathergate anagram had the letters D-A-N to work with, which was very convenient. But I find calling Dan "goner" seems to fit. Anyway, here goes:

 

TANG Bile Left Sore Toll

A story in anagrams
of
"Little Green Footballs."


Chapter 1.

TANG libeler: Left's tool.
"Let's fool lettering lab!"
TANG letters libel, fool!

Chapter 2.

Lo, lib net flogs a letter!
Goner abets left's ill lot,
flogs a letter. "Not libel!"
(Goner oft tells lib tales.)

Chapter 3.

Allies blog letter, font.

Chapter 4.

So. Lettering fable toll:
Flog letter, lie lots? = Ban!
Toll fell: To resign beat.
(Goner slot till late Feb.)

 

I'm working on anagrams of "Powerlineblog," and finding it really challenging. I'll post what I have when I'm done.

Update: Done! Powerlineblog anagram narrative is here.

Update: Thanks to Charles at LGF for the link! Glad to have you, lizardoids; poke around a bit, make yourselves at home.

*Update: It's come to my attention that not everyone knows what an anagram actually is. Basically, it's a word or phrase rearranged to make another word or phrase. All letters must be used. You'll see that every line above uses all the letters, and only the letters, in "Little Green Footballs." For more on anagrams, click on "Anagrams" under "Categories," to your right.

Posted by EtherPundit at 08:40 PM | Comments (13)   Category: Anagrams , Greatest Hits , Language , Media , Rathergate Anagrams

Box Locks FOX, Blocks Shocks (EtherPundit Mocks)

Charles at LGF points us in the direction of a helpful multi-purpose device: A combination Fox News Channel blocker and 'tard detector.

Apparently there are people who are unable to operate a remote control and need to have FNC blocked, lest a nanosecond of news without a smug anti-American gloss accidentally flash on their retinas. Why, it could totally shatter their paradigm! Implode their worldview! Discombobulate their Weltanschauung! Even the slightest passing subliminal screen flicker of Sean Hannity's face in a liberal household could destroy all they hold dear!

Of course, my cable company will block any channel on request. But my guess is that if you haven't even mastered your remote control, you certainly won't be capable of calling your cable company. A shame, that.

(Incidentally, despite the site's claims, advertisers are not looking at the number of Fox-Blockers sold and shaking their heads; they are looking at the channel's actual ratings, and drooling. I think the real motive here is to prevent everyone else in the house from daring to watch a station that one person doesn't like.)

No sir, no sir, Mr. FOX, sir!
You are owned by the Murdochs, sir!
I must buy these channel-blocks, sir,
To protect my brain from shocks, sir!

(apologies to Dr. Seuss' "Fox in Socks")

Perhaps what these people really need is not a Fox News Channel blocker, but a calcium channel blocker. You know, to prevent the inevitable heart attack when one day they walk into a bar and the wall-mounted TV is tuned to FNC.

Oh, the Hume-Hannity!

Posted by EtherPundit at 07:10 AM | Comments (2)   Category: Media , Moonbats

Anagram update

The Rathergate/Instapundit anagrams have proven very popular. (The Instalanche helped -- thanks, Perfesser!) Anagram fans rejoice; I'll have the Little Green Footballs ones done late tomorrow night. They're lookin' good.

Posted by EtherPundit at 07:00 AM | Comments (2)   Category: Anagrams

January 17, 2005

Barnes & Noble cooking the books? Part II

I posted a while back about the glaringly obvious liberal bias in my local Barnes & Noble’s book displays. I wondered whether the bias was dictated by market forces, or by a political slant coming down from local or national management.

"AkRonin," an Alaskan, responded to my post, saying that there was evident bias even in the B&Ns in Alaska, a red state. Anecdotal evidence, to be sure, but it suggests a political, not commercial, motive. Now I have a bit more information to add to the mix.

First, a friend saved this shocking, yet somehow expected pre-election conversation (.pdf file) from a Borders employee bulletin board. (The site deleted the thread when it started receiving unwanted blog-scrutiny.) Brief sample:

You guys don't actually HAVE to sell [Unfit for Command]! Just "carelessly" hide the boxes, "accidentally" drop them off pallets, "forget" to stock the ones you have, and then suggest a nice Al Franken or Micheal [sic] Moore book as a substitute....

I don't care if these Neandertals in fancy suits get mad at me... Anything you can do to make them feel unwelcome is only fair... And they would censor your speech, your books, your music in a heartbeat, so give them a taste of it!

Borders, of course, is not Barnes, but it’s reasonable to think the same kinds of things might go on, at least at the employee level.

Second, for some time I’ve been noticing the books displayed at the Brooklyn Costco, about 35 blocks from the Barnes & Noble. Costco is famous for its fiercely strategic buying and inventory control. They only keep about 50 or so current titles in stock at any given time, and book inventory flies out of that store; you know they keep a sharp eye on every unit moved. I’ve watched their book selections change over countless visits during the last few years, and their selection seems scrupulously balanced politically. For every “Deliver Us From Evil,” there’s a “Bushwhacked.” For every Al Franken book, there’s an Ann Coulter book.

Could Costco be stocking conservative books just for appearances, even though they don’t sell? It doesn’t seem likely. I think conservative books are selling, at least as well as liberal books, and that’s why the new ones keep getting stocked.

Finally, I’ve been using Amazon for about 4 years now, and I’ve never noticed much of a bias. Sometimes they get some kind of bug up their butt about promoting a certain book, and often these are liberal. (Lately it’s been Jon Stewart’s “America.” I assume they have some sort of sweetheart deal from the publisher in these cases.) I haven’t made a study of it, but it appears that, over time, conservative books have been just as common as liberal books on Amazon’s top-seller lists.

So what other explanation could there be for the Barnes & Noble stock and display policies other than political bias? I hate to believe such a thing of a bookstore, but it’s hard to think of any other motives on their part.

Posted by EtherPundit at 08:05 PM | Comments (7)   Category: Books , Brooklyn & NYC , Moonbats , Politics

Rathergate story, told in anagrams of "Instapundit."

Regular readers will have noticed my fondness for anagrams. I recently started anagramming the names of some of my favorite blogs, and made an interesting discovery: I could tell the entire Rathergate story using only anagrams for Instapundit. Here it is.

Instapundit:
Disputant in
Unpaid Stint

A story in anagrams
by

Titan du Spin.

Dan tip is nut.
Dan puts it in.
“Tut, Dan!” I snip.
“Dan? Nut!” I spit.
I stand, input.
I sit, punt Dan.
Stint up, Dani!
Dan in tits-up.*

*Tits-up = British slang for dead, kaput, hopelessly messed up.

I'm going to attempt the same feat with anagrams of Little Green Footballs and Powerlineblog. I'll post what I have as soon as I've completed it.

Update: Glenn says I have too much time on my hands. Guilty as charged, m'lud!

Update: Check out the new set: Rathergate story, as told in anagrams of "Little Green Footballs."

Update: Now the Powerlineblog anagram story is up.

Posted by EtherPundit at 04:26 PM | Comments (12)   Category: Anagrams , Greatest Hits , Language , Media , Rathergate Anagrams

January 16, 2005

Yiddish Proverb Sunday! Read, so you should learn!

Since the blogosphere has been abuzz with discussion of Kos' dubiously kosher compensation, I've picked an appropriate proverb. No one can actually prove there was any quid pro quo in this case, but...

Oif vemens vogen me zitst, zingt men dem lied.

People always sing the tune that pleases their benefactor.

On a related topic, Jim Treacher is soliciting alternate names for... "Blogola," or whatever they're calling blog payoffs. I've suggested a few, including "clickbacks," "pajama payola," "trackbucks," "quid pro click," and "movable hype." I urge all neologism-loving readers to hustle over and take a crack at it.

Update: Reader Tevye has provided a literal translation of this proverb (which I prefer). See the comments to read it.

Posted by EtherPundit at 05:59 PM | Comments (7)   Category: Yiddish Proverbs

January 15, 2005

Stunningly weird photos of Brooklyn & Manhattan Bridges in fog

On January 13, I woke up and looked into my back yard. At first I thought there was a fire nearby — everything seemed obscured by white smoke. The 'smoke' was actually fog — the thickest, lowest fog I've ever seen.

At 9:30, as EtherHub drove us both across the Brooklyn Bridge into midtown Manhattan, I had a chance to check out the capabilities of my new Canon PowerShot SD300. We were driving at a good clip, but I managed to get some amazing shots out the window.

I've lived in New York all my life, but I've never seen the skyline disappear so completely. The enormous gothic stone towers of the bridge were only visible for a few moments as we approached them; the rest of the time the suspension cables just disappeared up into the sky, apparently anchored to the clouds. The FDR Drive, which runs along the river up the east side of Manhattan, seemed to be a short stretch of grey in the middle of an empty, flat world of white nothingness. No river, no skyline, nothing. Even the bridges were only visible from the FDR when we were practically on top of them.

These are color photos, though you'd never know it. Here are a couple of the shots (click to enlarge):

 
The Brooklyn Bridge from the FDR Drive   The Manhattan Bridge from the FDR Drive

More below the fold. (Again, click to enlarge.)





     
Brooklyn is allegedly at the other end of this bridge.   I love the ad on this cab. It's good to know I'll have somewhere to go in case those pouty ol' blue states ever really secede.   Ghost cables in the sky.

Click here to view the complete album with more amazing shots and an animated GIF.

 

Posted by EtherPundit at 05:35 PM | Comments (7)   Category: Brooklyn & NYC , Greatest Hits , Photoblogging

Libs' brilliant strategy: Pway wif dollies!

Remember when you were a little kid? When you'd had a bad day in kindergarten, or when mommy and daddy were fighting, or whenever the world seemed bad or sad or out of control, you worked it out by playing with dollies.

It's not just a childish way of coping with anxiety any more. Now it's part of the new Awesome Liberal 2008 Strike Force strategy!

I posted some time ago about a Canadian MP who flaunted the awesome power of Canada on the world stage by boldly stomping on a tiny plastic simulacrum of Bush. Her technique is catching on with liberals in the US, and conservatives are cowering in fear as teensy posable versions of Republicans are humiliated! As Ace points out (referring to a post on Blaster's Blog), Bush and Ann Coulter dolls, perhaps inspired by the scenes of marionette lust in "Team America," have been seen attempting various sinful coital feats with the eager assistance of vengeful Democrats.

The next time Nader runs, instead of debating puppets, he should put on a dolly sex show. Perhaps after the main event, the tiny mannequins can relax with a teensy cigarette and discuss current events with Mr. Nader. I would pay to see Nader voice a nude Hillary doll answering questions from earnest Greens in the audience.

Update: This company offers customized "action figures" (aka dollies), so the left should have plenty to keep them busy. Bush's new cabinet! Potential Republican 2008 candidates! Right-wing pundits! Collect 'em all!

Posted by EtherPundit at 01:06 AM | Comments (1)   Category: Moonbats

January 14, 2005

Hey! I'm part of a "defamation pipeline"! Who knew?

O'Reilly obligingly spent part of his show tonight perfectly demonstrating the point I made in my last post about media narcissism vs the blogosphere. The invaluable Johnny Dollar has posted a transcript of tonight's O'Reilly interview with Hugh Hewitt.

I get the impression that O'Reilly doesn't read blogs, doesn't really understand how the blogosphere works, and has a hard time comprehending and putting into words precisely what it is about the blogosphere that threatens him so. Jeez, it reminds me of my tone-deaf ol' dad ranting about rock music. He's entitled to his opinion, but every time he tries to defend it logically, he's just cringe-inducingly clueless — too clueless to even know how obvious his cluelessness is.

The odd thing is that I can't recall any harm the blogosphere has done to this guy. The Smoking Gun published the various legal filings relating to his little sex scandal, but that's not a blog, and those were publicly available papers. Has any blog defamed him? Dug up scandal? I know there are some sites devoted wholly or in part to a slavering hatred of him, but has anyone actually published any scurrilous lies? Or even scurrilous truths?

I noted that he repeatedly used the term "print" instead of "post":

[Bloggers will] fabricate stuff, they'll make stuff up, they print it.

I think it's telling that he'd use an old-media term, applicable to newspapers, and apply it incorrectly to blogs. Apparently, the concept of a vast, distributed, self-regulating network of information and opinion is not easy for an old-media person to grasp. The "networks" O'Reilly has known all his life are top-down, hierarchical affairs where information is distributed in a one-way pipeline from the top down through the talking head and on to the viewers. There is no comment thread; there are no trackbacks. Accountability, like the flow of information, comes only from above, based on hierarchy and not meritocracy. I think that's why O'Reilly seems to feel there's no accountability on the internet; bloggers don't answer to a a boss or a corporation like he does. But bloggers are subject to corrections and un-silenceable voices equally as loud as theirs from all sides. Old media is actually far less accountable in some ways, because instead of the self-correction of cross-blog commentary, there's an endless echo chamber of back-patting (like O'Reilly's sad defense of Dan Rather).

It never really occurred to me before, but to someone whose concept of news and commentary encompasses only top-down media like TV, newspapers, and radio, the self-regulating, self-healing chaos of the internet must be very difficult to conceptualize. And I suspect that this is true for a lot of the older old-media people.

Update: Wizbang thinks O'Reilly wants Dan Rather's chair. That would explain why he's twisted himself into a pretzel trying to defend Rather, while suggesting that, even if it turns out the bloggers were right after all, they're somehow illegitimate, because there's "no control." But why would anyone want to take the helm of a ship someone else has already scuttled? Never mind — if it results in "The [Hugh] Hewitt Factor," as Wizbang suggests, I'm all for it!

Posted by EtherPundit at 11:05 PM | Comments (15)   Category: Media

January 10, 2005

This Machine Kills Narcissists

I've been following the Nick Coleman/Powerline saga with interest. By now, all of us bloggers know what a dangerous threat we are to the powers that be — at least according to some of the powers that be. I’ve blogged about Brian Williams and Bill O’Reilly, but they’re just two prancing drum majorettes in the endless parade of MSM blog-haters.

The other day, I happened upon a sprawling, fascinating site about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Some of the author’s writings on narcissists and the Internet really struck me. Check out the passages below, but for “narcissist” read “mainstream media,” or just insert the name of your favorite blog-hating personality. (Boldface mine.)

The Internet is an egalitarian medium where people are judged by the consistency and quality of their contributions rather than by the content or bombast of their claims. But the narcissist is driven to distracting discomfiture by a lack of clear and commonly accepted hierarchy (with himself at the pinnacle). He fervently and aggressively tries to impose the "natural order" — either by monopolizing the interaction or, if that fails, by becoming a major disruptive influence.

Sound familiar? Nick Coleman, does this resemble anyone you’ve seen in the mirror lately?

But the Internet may also be the closest many narcissists get to psychodynamic therapy. Because it is still largely text-based, the Web is populated by disembodied entities. By interacting with these intermittent, unpredictable, ultimately unknowable, ephemeral, and ethereal voices — the narcissist is compelled to project unto them his own experiences, fears, hopes, and prejudices.

The therapeutic process is set in motion by the — unbridled, uncensored, and brutally honest — reactions to the narcissist's repertory of antics, pretensions, delusions, and fantasies.

The narcissist — ever the intimidating bully — is not accustomed to such resistance. Initially, it may heighten and sharpen his paranoia and lead him to compensate by extending and deepening his grandiosity. Some narcissists withdraw altogether, reverting to the schizoid posture. Others become openly antisocial and seek to subvert, sabotage, and destroy the online sources of their frustration. A few retreat and confine themselves to the company of adoring sycophants and unquestioning groupies.

But take heart, pajamahadeen. The author says there is hope:

But a long exposure to the culture of the Net - irreverent, skeptical, and populist — usually exerts a beneficial effect even on the staunchest and most rigid narcissist. Far less convinced of his own superiority and infallibility, the online narcissist mellows and begins — hesitantly — to listen to others and to collaborate with them.

I think he’s only talking here about narcissists who actually participate in online culture, but who knows? As more and more MSM fixtures find themselves unable to ignore the internet, perhaps they will “begin — hesitantly — to listen to others.”

So I eagerly await the day when a mainstream media fixture says publicly, "Hey, I messed up. Everyone makes mistakes. I'd hate to think I was disseminating flat-out lies. Thanks, bloggers, for setting me straight!"

I have every hope I'll live to see that day. Or at least my grandchildren will. Maybe.

Posted by EtherPundit at 07:12 AM | Comments (4)   Category: Greatest Hits , Media , Moonbats

Yiddish Proverb Sunday! Read, so you should learn!

Well, I finally get up and running on Hosting Matters just in time for them to become serial victims of DDOS attacks. So today's proverb is just a bit late.

Az Got vil ainem dos hartz opshtoissen, git er im a groissen saichel.

When God wants to break a man's heart, he gives him a lot of sense.


Posted by EtherPundit at 07:01 AM | Comments (1)   Category: Yiddish Proverbs

January 08, 2005

My job is secure! Thanks, Michael Moore!

I posted earlier about all the good news that seems to be floating around these days. Maybe it's just me. Maybe now that the unrelenting, oppressive Bush-bashing of everyone in my daily life has stopped, my spirits have permanently recovered. Maybe I'm still high from the election. Maybe I've learned not to let the bad stuff get to me so much.

In any case, news like this is just too good to ignore. As you probably know, Michael Moore, the man who loses elections for the Dems even as he wins awards for himself, is making a movie about the pharmaceutical industry. Moorewatch predicts a flop. Me, I'm rubbing my hands together, waiting for Mikey to work his patented magic. You know, that trick he does? Where he sprinkles some legitimate gripes with the pixie dust of conspiracy theories, until everything is all contaminated with the aura of kookitude? And the signal-to-noise ratio renders it nearly impossible to distinguish between sane critique and loony rant? And Mikey's intended victim is protected, as all criticism starts to blend into one annoying, whiny, accusatory buzz? And all critics of Mikey's putative target start to resemble ill-tempered androids programmed with prefab outbursts from the Moonbats-R-Us Talking Points Generator? That magic trick?

Do it again, Mikey! Do to the pharma industry what you did to Dubya! You see, Michael my dear, like so many others, I work in an industry whose health depends on the health of the pharmaceutical industry. (You'd be surprised how many of us there are! And how much we want to stay employed!) And I just know that once you work your many-chinned magic on Big Pharma, my job security will be guaranteed. Just like W's.

Oh, but there's one little thing, Michael. I'm grateful for all you've done, but you're so mean sometimes. You've made at least one little girl cry.

TearsOfaClown.jpg


I think you should kiss her tears away and make it all better.


Posted by EtherPundit at 10:49 PM | Comments (1)   Category: Michael Moore , Moonbats

January 07, 2005

EtherHouse is back! Millions cheer!

I'm back, and better than ever! (Okay, I may be damning with faint praise...)

At long last, I've completed the move to Movable Type. Such a saga. I expect to be tweaking the format and features as I go along, and hopefully posting will be a lot less sporadic now.

Whew.

Posted by EtherPundit at 07:28 PM | Comments (2)   Category:

January 02, 2005

Yiddish Proverb Sunday! Read, so you should learn!

Why Yiddish proverbs? Because it's my blog, and I like 'em. Also see here.

This week's proverb applies nicely to the ongoing Movable Type transfer kvetching I've been doing here.

Ain mol a saichel, dos tsvaiteh mol chain, dem dritten mol git men in di tsain.

The first time it's smart; the second time it's cute; the third time you get a sock in the teeth.

That, my friends, is what I call wisdom.

Posted by EtherPundit at 08:22 PM | Comments (2)   Category: Yiddish Proverbs